My journey started with being overweight and the only goal I made with myself on day 1 was to lose weight. I didn't look further into the future at what my life would be like once the weight was gone. My only focus was to make sure I went from the unhappy mom and wife weighing 252 pounds to being someone who was happy again with herself and weighing 180 pounds. But what I didn't realize is that goals change and the reason for those goals change. There is always something to look forward to and something to work for. I also didn't realize how much I would change as a person. A person who doesn't just want to hide out at home and not show herself to the world.
I was asked many times what my goals were and it was always just about the present and what the scale said. I revolved my goals around that and only that. But I also didn't know what other goals were or what they would look like. I didn't know what toning or leaning could do for my body. I was flying blind when I started my journey and I had a lot to learn. However, my goals changed all of the time as I continued to make progress and extending my knowledge. My goals did still have something to do with the scale but I always added something to it, whether it was inches lost, or body fat percentage. I learned that I could push my body (yes sometimes I pushed to hard when I shouldn't have) to the extreme and results were achievable. I also learned that my body is an amazing thing and I had to learn to love my body and everything it does for me on a daily basis.
What's my point behind this post?? My point is my goal now and why we have goals. I have surpassed all the goals that I had set for myself previously but I still wanted more. I was maintaining my weight, I was consistently showing up for my workouts, and I was doing what I could for my nutrition. However, I am competitive with myself and through this journey I want to push to do things I never thought imaginable. What can I be doing now that I never thought I would do?? Well, after a couple discussions with the tribe that I surround myself with and a little research competing in a fitness competition came up. I talked with those around me who have seen me go through this journey and whether or not it was something I should do. I received a lot of "HELL YES" and it honestly made me feel amazing to have a support system around me that believed I could do it and that would watch me do it. My family supported me, my friends supported me, and most importantly I supported me.
What is really funny about this though, is that back in 2013 when I first had a sit down with Rachel (my amazing trainer and friend, really she is family to me) and we discussed my goals all I knew was weight loss. I remember telling her that I didn't want to be a competitor. I didn't want to get on stage. I was still the shy uncomfortable person who wanted to hide most of the time. Why would I want to be on stage when I didn't believe in myself? Again, I never looked to the future.
However, February 2016 I decided to go for it. After more conversations and watching YouTube videos, I told Rachel that I was ready to grab the bull by the horns and go. We both decided there was no need to rush into it because my body would react to everything better by going slow, planning, and being healthy. No extremes, no drugs, just me putting in the hard work every day and listening to my body. The plan is to hopefully compete this October 2016 assuming I don't have any set backs and everything falls into place like it should.What do I want to compete in? I want to go for figure. I have fallen in love with the muscle definition my body has started to show and I want to show that on stage. I want to have more of it.
Today, I went to my first fitness competition, NPC Big Sky Championship. If I am going to be in one in the future I had better get to one and really witness what it is all about. I was so impressed with the ladies who came out and strutted their stuff on stage. We don't know their stories and where they came from or why they are doing this. Every lady on that stage is different. Every one has a different level of confidence. One body on the stage could have flabby stomach skin from weight loss or having kids, one body could not have good glutes, one could be too thin, or that one person up there who has started a journey and decided to get up on stage as a first time competitor. These ladies were being judged for every aspect of their body and we all know that secretively we all wish we could put random parts of each body into one. We want her legs and someone else's shoulders but we can't take body parts from each person and create the perfect body. All we can do is love the body we have.
After just watching the prejudging event today that is truly what I felt. My body is my body and I have come to love and appreciate every aspect of it. My body is capable of so many amazing things. I know that my body won't look like the girls next to me and that is okay. I know the journey that I have been on to get to that point and what it took for me to achieve where I will be that day. The day I get on that stage I will own it because I know what it took for me to get there. I will get up there ready to shine and rock it. I will show my beauty and my confidence and know that I did that. I put in the work 100% to get to that point. The person standing next to me on stage didn't do the work for me. My friends or family didn't do the work for me either, they guided me and supported me. I DID THE WORK.
I've already transformed who I am by not hiding it anymore so I hope the world is ready to witness me not hide it anymore when it is time for me to get on that stage. Hiding is not an option for me anymore. Watch my body transform as I continue to put in the work everyday. Are you ready to go on this journey with me???
