A lot can change in four years. We age, we get smarter (well sometimes), we grow as people, and sometimes we just exist. However, I think I accomplished more than those few things.
Four years ago today, I made the decision to walk through the doors at the local YMCA with some friends and to make a change. I knew I wanted to be healthy and had failed so many times in the past that I didn't think this time would work either. Why would this time be different?
It was different this time because I had a "WHY". I had a reason to walk through those doors and a reason to never look back. I have pushed further than I though possible from that very first terrifying day.
I was lost as a person and lost without knowledge. I had to find me again and that was what was different this time. I wasn't trying to lose weight for anybody else because it was my body. I needed to lose it for myself. I didn't want to be that young mom on high blood pressure medication and not able to keep with with her boys at the age of 29. I wanted to be the person I had hidden for so many years and to be a mom that could teach her boys health. The lifestyle I have made is one that I believe Landon and Reiley can watch and appreciate. They can see that dedication can get you what you want out of life. They can see that not giving up keeps you going. They are able to see a happier mom who is ready to show them a life of fun and activities instead of being couch potatoes. My family is what keeps me going. They are #1 in my books and knowing they are watching is what is important.My husband, Matt, has watched me every step of the way. In the 13 years we have been together, we has seen every side of me, good and bad, unhealthy and healthy. He supported me regardless and loved me regardless of how I looked. I hated myself but he still loved me. He didn't care if I was 252 pounds or 160 pounds. He always says, "I just want you to be happy". Funny thing, looking at the photos of us, I shrunk and he grew HAHA! I find it funny how he was the athletic one in the Army Reserves while I was the couch potato and now he is the couch potato and I'm running circles around him.
Regardless though, he has seen me through everything and shows his support the best way he can.
As every milestone and day passed on I was able to believe in myself more and more. I was able to open up to people and no longer hide behind the scenes. To trust myself with more and to trust those around me.
I want people to know who I am. To really know who Krystal is. I'm not just a person who lost weight but a person who is genuinely one of a kind because there is only me. The sparkle that now exists, I want to spread into each room.These last 4 years have all been different. The first year, I just wanted to lose weight. I didn't want to fat and unhappy. The second year, I found AdvoCare, I found boxing, and I found Rachel. But I was also starting to find my determination to keep going even when the scale wasn't moving. The third year, I hit goals left and right that I had set and continued to set new ones. Hitting that first goal I ever set of losing 70 pounds, reaching a healthy body fat percentage, lifting heavy weights (as heavy as I can), and making new goals. I had no clue I would fall in love with lifting weights and building muscle as much as I have. The fourth year, all about balance and maintaining but also working towards that new goal of competing. But I believe the third and fourth years were the years that I truly saw who I was. I was finally emerging from the mud and no longer hiding or lost. I had become who I always was meant to be. A girl who loved reading inspirational books and quotes, a girl who loved life to the fullest and wants to be part of the crowd.
I didn't do this process by myself. I might have put in the sweat, the tears, and the work, but I had so many people around me, supporting me, and pushing me through those days that I didn't want to do anything. SOOOOOOO many people have touched my life over this part of my life that I don't know how to thank all of you.
I just want to share, that no matter what your doing in your life, don't hide who you are truly deep down. Find what you need to make that person shine. For me that was being comfortable and confident in my skin and to not worry about what people might be thinking of her. Yes, I know standing on stage in a bikini contradicts that previous statement, HA, but that was a choice to let people judge me and for them to not know my story. Fitness has always been a part of my life but not it is truly one of the larger parts. It is what keeps me happy when I need time for me. Don't ever think hiding is the best option because it isn't. Letting people see who we truly are, good or bad, is what we should be doing every day.
My goal right now, right this moment, is just to be alive. To love life to the fullest and take in every second. Enjoying the food. Not stressing about how I will make it to the gym. Right now, I just want to have fun from spending time with my family and friends to fun at the gym making all of the gains.
I AM ALIVE, I AM ENOUGH, I AM ME AND ONLY ME.
