The Fight to Continue......Goals....... (NOTE: This was originally written in Nov 2015)

Ending 2013 with finally seeing some changes made me realize I was capable of bettering myself.  I continued my workouts and even started running some races. However, 2014 ended up being a struggle for me as I had lost my focus on fueling my body properly. The scale would reflect that and I had many moments of being discouraged and ready to throw in the towel. There was no personal reason for lack of focus other than just not giving my all and forgetting why I had started this journey. I knew I was still losing inches because I would need to buy those new clothes but I was still frustrated with myself. In those 12 months, I had only gone down 15 pounds and I was disappointed with that. But now I can look back at that year and know that I needed that to push me forward to what was hopefully going to be the best year yet.

With that, I was ready to tackle 2015 head on and meet the goal I had set on that first day, to go from 252 pounds to 180 pounds so that I could be back to where I was pre-babies. This wasn't a small task but I had already lost 52 pounds so what was another 20? I just had to remind myself daily why I was doing this. What was my why? My why was still the same; I wanted to find out who I was as a person and push myself to the limits. By May, my goal was within reach and I was ready for it. I pushed harder, asked Rachel for advice in my eating, and was ready to give it my all. I put on my mirror at home that I would be under 180 by July 31st. It was time to log my food, up that protein, lower those carbohydrates, and hold myself accountable for everything I was doing. Stop making excuses and just do it. I was scared to get on that scale at the end of the month and not see a number that I wanted because I knew the amount of work I had put in. To my surprise though, I had done it. I had met my first and original goal after 2 ½ years of dedication.

Knowing that I succeeded at that accomplishment only fueled my fire more.  I held my head high with self-confidence and was proud of what I had achieved. Here I was, 10 months into 2015 and still pushing. Training hard for new goals and pushing my body until it cries for mercy. I haven't felt this amazing in a very long time and I wouldn't change it for anything. Hitting the ground running hard in 2015 was exactly what I needed and I was able to go down 39 pounds and countless inches.

In 30 months I had dropped 90 pounds. I did it slow and healthy and what I feel is the best way I could have done it. I have forever committed myself to the new lifestyle and I am glad that I took that first step to the gym. If I wouldn't have taken that leap I don't know where I would be today. Starting in a 3x shirt to now wearing size M and being uncomfortable in those size 22/24 pants to now loving my new size 7/8.  I don't know what my future holds because I am still trying to determine what goals I want next. Losing the weight was always number one and I never thought past that. I just assumed I would just stop once I hit that goal and be happy but I soon realized I needed more. Does my future hold competitions, maybe? Does my future hold just focusing on weight lifting goals, maybe? Or does my future just hold me being the best at what I can do? Maybe my future is helping others with their struggles and inspiring others so that they know it is possible.   My goals may not be clear right now, but I won't stop from putting one foot in front of the other and pushing for that purpose that I needed years ago.

If I could give you any advice at all, it would be to not give up. Take that first scary step to a new you. Don't worry about what the other people are thinking.  I am living proof that anyone can do it if they put their mind to it. All that matters is what you believe in.  Do you believe you can do it? Do you feel that hunger to become a better you? Are you ready to commit to a new lifestyle? Start with those baby steps because there are no shortcuts. Those baby steps could be committing to 3 workouts a week, eliminating that soda, or cutting out the fast food and learning how to meal prep. Find that one small commitment and stick with it before adding another. Surround yourself with positive people who can give you advice when needed. That accountability is going to play a huge role when making a lifestyle change. Those days where you feel like you are failing and you just think you need to give up, DON'T! Turn to that support system and ask for help.

Remember only you can make yourself happy and hold yourself responsible for what you want. You have to put in the effort to make it work for you. Find that purpose that makes you get out of bed every day to motivate you. That reason is going to keep you going on those days of self doubt and why you will continue to walk through those doors every day.

“Your biggest challenge isn’t someone else. It’s the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells “CAN’T”, but you don’t listen. You just push harder. And then you hear the voice whisper “CAN”. And you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are.” ~~ Unknown