Most people feel that I stretch myself to thin and have gone crazy most of the time. And some feel that I have gone to far with fitness and that I spend too much time at the gym and focusing on my nutrition. That I need to chill out and just enjoy life. What they don't see is this is now how I enjoy my life and I do have fun and let loose. I can be crazy and count my macros and log my food consistently on My Fitness Pal for over a year now, but I can still let loose and go out and have a few drinks with friends or enjoy some pizza with my kids. There are always times for junk food and time for the food that I need to keep my body running. My body is strong but can be so much stronger if I just listen to them and give them what they need.
I don't hate getting up at the crack of black crazy hours to get my day started with time at the gym. Going to the gym and boxing or lifting weights get my mood set for the day and I'm ready to take on the day. My days can be long and can be crazy but it doesn't bother me.
I am a mom first and foremost to two amazing boys. They can drive me absolutely crazy sometimes but they fill my heart with joy and happiness. But I am a mom and that word "MOM" means so many things.
My only hope is that they see me as a mom who has learned to take care of herself and be a role model for her children. That they can look at me and see my dedication to them, our family, and to myself as positive. They have witnessed my journey and will hopefully remember it in days to come when they are struggling as reminder to not give up. To not let someone tell them they are not capable of achieving their dreams with hard work. I will always be there for them no matter what as a friend, parent, and role model.
Regarding my fitness time and nutrition, it honestly helps me keep up with my crazy schedules. When I was overweight and eating fast food all of the time I never had the energy to keep up. I wanted to sit on my ass and binge watch TV and do absolutely nothing. I hated getting out of bed and always wanted to sleep. But now, oh my goodness! I can eat healthy and fuel my body to get me through the day, I can work out and be in a better mood if something has tilted the universe, and I can have the energy I need to be running from point A to point B 24/7. The gym is my escape when I need time for me. The gym is how I keep my sanity. Honestly I am not only physically stronger by what I have and can achieve but I am mentally stronger to.
Honestly, I never thought in a million years I would be where I am today. I am not just talking about becoming the person who has the twinkle in her eyes, pep in her step, and a smile that no longer wants to hide. I never would have imagined myself loving fitness and loving to learn about fitness and proper nutrition. There is such a science behind all of it that is intriguing, fascinating, and amazing. So fitness isn't just about where my body is physically but just how fitness makes me feel. I can have people look at me and believe they are capable of achieving what goals they could have. I get asked questions that I would have never tried to answer before. I still to do this day might not have the right answer but I am excited to share what I have learned. Sharing the experience and knowledge is the best part.
I'm still pursuing goals that I want to pursue and that have me excited. But now I can show others that any goal, small or huge, can be done. You can enjoy getting sweaty and lifting weights and still have fun. It is a lot of work yes but surrounded by an environment and support system that keeps you motivated will only help. I was scared to lift weights, partially because I had no freaking clue what I was doing and still don't sometimes without asking Google, but that is what makes it fun. The unknown, the pushing my limits on a daily basis until it cries for mercy.
My journey in fitness has opened doors and dreams that I never thought imaginable. I have so many people in my life now that inspire me to keep going and I can in turn inspire someone else because I refuse to give up. Our struggles are real and our struggles are as individual as they can be.
I don't want to just be that person that has changed her life by losing weight. I want to be the person who has pushed through every obstacle she has been thrown into and still comes out on the other end smiling. I want to be that person who helps change the world one person at a time. As a child, I decided early that I wanted to be a teacher because I had so many teachers that helped me so much along the way growing up. But those teachers knew how to make a difference in the lives of those around them. I wanted to be that person to children because I didn't want them to live a life of fear and the unknown. Did I end up being a teacher, no. However though, I feel like my experiences since May 1, 2013 can help me teach others.
So I can still fulfill my dreams of teaching and inspiring people. I can still be that shoulder to lean on when you need one or I can be that person who tells you to get your ass to the gym because you can walk through that door and just get it done. Or I can be that person who tells you to not sit in front of the TV watching The Biggest Loser with the huge bowl of ice cream wishing you were on that show to make your dreams come true (trust me I was that exact person and it does you absolutely no good). You don't need a TV show to get you where you want to be. You just need you, your mind, you body, and your heart to be ready to walk through the pain and accomplish it day by day. The hardest part is walking through that door and saying "I can do this".
At the end of the day, all I want to do is help people. Someway somehow I want to help you. That is what my heart wants. That is what makes my heart happy. Helping others with whatever it could be. The ray of sunshine to make you smile. The person to drink wine with and laugh. Or just the person who can tell you to walk through that door because once you walk through the door you can't turn around so you might as well get it done. I hope if you are one of my friends who is struggling you will reach out to me and let me give you a helping hand.
You will always know where to find me.
