The past two weeks have been filled with so much craziness that I am so surprised that I stayed a float. I am not sure how I have managed to do everything over the past 7 weeks but I have and I am proud of me for being able to stick to it all. Even on those days when I want to say, "No just go home nobody will know that you didn't do that cardio session." But I will know in the back of my mind that I gave up on that and it wouldn't sit right with me. So even though my body isn't tired but my mind is tired, I can't bring myself to say NO and give up.
Rachel, my trainer, has increased my cardio sessions from 30 minutes to 45 minutes and that is a struggle. Who would have thought that one thing that got me started on this journey to a new me would be the one thing I dislike the most. I started my days on the cardio equipment 4 years ago because I had no idea what I was doing and I would spend a good hour on them. Now I hate spending 45 minutes on them and I have to do half on one machine and half on another machine to keep myself going. I wish the weather would cooperate here in Montana so that I could maybe move my cardio outside instead and enjoy the fresh air with the dog/kids. But unfortunately Montana weather is bipolar and there is no such luck this time of year.
Anyways, my nutrition has stayed the same and eating the same foods over and over again for the past few weeks is tough, but hot sauce and dijon mustard have become my new best friends and I have to remind myself that this is all worth it in the end. The prize that I am putting all this hard work in for is near and I can't let the boring same foods get me down. Also, let me tell you what, to be eating 1,800 calories a day and maintaining the schedule I have is a blessing. If I had to eat much less than that I think I would die because I know my body would just give out on me and be like, "Hell no we can't move we are done.".
The change week to week in my body and my posing has been huge and I am absolutely falling in love with this challenge. When I give people all of the details they ask, "Why are you doing this?" or "Is this healthy to do?" and you know what I am doing this for me and to prove I can do it. Is it healthy, it definitely can take a toll on the body and I couldn't see myself doing it more than once a twice a year that is for sure. The body is a hidden treasure to maintain and keep and love and the amount of stress it can undergo during this time is completely unbelievable and amazing. During this challenge I have fallen in love with not just my physical transformation, but the science behind it all. There are so many things that go into transforming the body in an all natural and healthy way. I am not about to pump my body full of steroids or other drugs to get the muscles that I would I love to have. Nope not one bit. I am all about fueling my body the right way and doing it all natural.
So, why am I doing this? Because I want to challenge myself. I want to be competitive with myself and push myself to the limit. Strain every ounce of my potential everyday on that gym floor until it cries for mercy. I want to prove to myself that I have not only accomplished a brand new lifestyle over the last 4 years, but that I have fought long and hard for the love in myself that I have now. That I can get on that stage and I am not competing with anyone else. I am being compared to others but I am only competing with me.
As I head into these next 8 weeks, I am ready. My work schedule will be a little lighter. The glasses are vanishing on Friday the 24th as I go in for LASIK. Go find and buy myself some fake boobs for my suit (oh the joys of weight loss and going from a DD to an A cup). I have to schedule my tan for the show. Upcoming hair appointment. Maintaining my 6 days a week in the gym, 2 posing practices a week. Oh and of course the most important is being a wife and a mother. My days will still be full every minute of every day, but it will be worth every ounce of sweat I leave on that floor.
Who am I doing this for? Me and only me as I am only competing with myself!!!!
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